The reason of my existence

I have heard lots of expressions from my son and my daughter including I love you, I hate you, I like you and I want you to be with me forever.. but the best one was the latest one.. “Your smell is the reason of of my existence !!!”.. it was a surprise…

I had gone out since morning for some exercising. When I returned back after 2 hours, I was all drenched in sweat.. all smelling and feeling very tired. As soon as I entered all I wanted to do was to lie down and sleep for a while.. of course we all need a nice nap after any form of exercise..

My son saw me and came running.. and shouting ..”Where were you ?” , he started smelling me and said “Oh ! the reason of my existence ”  I was so surprised and wondered whether he had read this expression somewhere.. no he had not.. it was such a genuine statement coming from a ten year old.  “Mom, your smell is what I was missing “..

Made me crumble inside..

Highs and Lows

Somedays are high and somedays go low.. am not talking about emotions or varying moods of a woman.. I am talking of the way the highs and lows decide the way a dress is worn .. the way the closet is arranged , the way a friends are approached.. The confidence given by the low and the bad temper because of the high really changes how we approach any situation..

Ok, you must be really going crazy by now what I am talking about.. high giving bad temper n low boosting confidence !! whats with the closet and the dresses.. nothing much but and increase in numbers increases the size of a woman and decrease in its number boosts confidence as everything starts fitting in.

Yes, am talking of weight management which has driven all women crazy, thinnest one too, the ones with the best figure.. not that I have one..

I have often been on and off.. on and off.. from gym to yoga.. yoga to power yoga.. done everything and finally ended with a conclusion that no matter what laziness does not help.

My enthusiasm to be more active led to the intrusion of all sorts of exercising machines in my house, eating on my space, hoping that this will decrease my space.. does it ? What is missing… there is a treadmill , a stepper and a whole home gym which stands like a big giant robot, challenging me to use them. Oh, of course I would love to use them , use them to the best , to the full potential, take the juice out of them and ultimately squash myself to fit myself in a size zero ( Oh Kareena.. why did u even invent this term.. its the most abused one and the most unreachable fad of the latest time. ).

Forget the size zero, even decent sizes are un-attainable as I try to get near to the machines.

Finally, after reading many a books, after lectures from friends and family, about things I already know about .. but its always easier to talk than to do, am  I not right ?, I get full of enthusiasm and decide to take the plunge.  All accessories are ready and with jogging shoes on, I start my jog.  I finally do it and am happy. But this is not the situation always, sometimes I try to achieve results by just staring at the treadmill and imagining that I am mentally running and walking at the speed of my choice, of course, need to move those lazy bums which refuse to budge.

HowI wish my body would react fast to all the exercising.. it does but slowly.. after six months of jogging n walking I do reach to a nice point but two days of indulgence and I am back to where I was six months ago.

Well, Now I am on a plan.. again.. yes again… always coming back like a spider who does not give up on climbing even after falling down again and again. There are days which are low and days which are high which make me go high and go low respectively and yes.. I know and acknowledge that they will be there.. and I will also be there to convert the highs into lows.

more to come ….

From the past blog ..

I had a blog which was not published.  Just dumping the content here..

Entry for April 11, 2007

I checked out my last poem, it actually sounded like a happy poem with a sad tone to it. time flies.. of course it does and we should enjoy every moment of it.
There are so many things to do in this world and so little time. Wouldnt you like to do some parasailing (I wish I had the strength to do it ! ) but you need a strong heart for that !
cheers.. Try out things which you had always wished for but never had the courage to.. maybe you will succeed. Its never late to try..
cheer !
pal pal ek pal ek pal.. kaise katega ek pal ek pal ek pal..

I just love listening to this song.. It has the jist of everything meaningful in life.

2007-04-11 16:37:45 GMT

Entry for February 1, 2007

yes, life.. especially day to day life seems so mundane sometimes and so special some days.. so free to do whatever you want and sometimes so busy there's no time for breathing also.
Today I learnt that sometimes what we see is not actually what it is. Standing up for oneself is the only thing that can lead a person towards true happiness.

..and the time flies away...
with the sound sleep of the child..
with the breeze on your cheeks..
with the smell of the food in the kitchen..
time flies.. and as soon as you blink..
it's another day.. another challenge..

signing off.. more tomorrow..

Time

Time a great leveller ! It keeps everyone grounded. Today if we are low , tomorrow we will reach heights .. Time is slow and time is fast ! Gets us to think, how can time be fast and fly away so fast and sometimes so slow, that it crawls ... when something is happening like watching a movie or enjoying a book, we never check time during that activity, whereas while doing any boring activity all we do is check time. Well, it's when we check time that makes a difference ...

Oh ! writing made me forgot about time .. well, Whatever happens , always happens for the best, in best of times..

here's a little something.. 

..and the time flies away...
with the sound sleep of the child..
with the breeze on your cheeks..
with the smell of the food in the kitchen..
time flies.. and as soon as you blink..
it's another day.. another challenge..

I am no Shakespeare !

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
William Shakespeare 


William Shakespeare - A famous writer and a famous poet ! He wrote and it became a classic . What times those must have been. Not only times, I think about him, how he must have been , was he a good person or did he experience so many things that it was easy for him to imagine stories full of a range of emotions . Emotions and feelings which are so real even today.


All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.
William Shakespeare 

Famous lines of shakespeare and why not.. these are the crux of our existence.

Should we be what we are or should we be what others think we are. I have always been myself trying to all that my parents taught me about being a good person, doing good things and always taking things in a positive way. But there are times when people try to drag you down, sometimes your own loved once and sometimes total strangers. Should you feel hurt , should you ignore or should you strike back ?

Ignorance is a bliss but a forced ignorance takes a toll on ur mental health. Its unhealthy. I think most of the time we end up being hurt, being hurt by our own people and I just hate it !

Oh Woman ! Where are you ?

O woman, where are you ?
Behind the skirt of your mom,
Playing hide and seek,
Happily ignorant of your fate,

Today you are small and innocent,
Not sure of your way,
When you grow up chains will come your way,
in form of various ways..





Sometimes, you will be a daughter,
biding by your father's wish,
and then a faithful wife,
forever a shadow and not in sight ..




O woman, where are you ?
Fly fly , fly so high..
Let no bound be bound to you,
Let no chain be tight to you,
Rise high and shine bright..

O woman, stand up high !

A shockfull of love

I still remember the day, the first time you gave me a shock.

Well, you knew how to surprise your mom throughout. Even before you came, when you were an eight month old angel inside me, you decided to play a game with me. That was a busy day, a very busy one with lots of guests at home. I cannot forget it .. I even remember how I was worried that I had not felt you even once since the whole day, not a single kick or a knock from inside, telling me that you were safe and sound. Your usual swimming strokes were missing. I was worried.. so quietly I went inside the bedroom and lied down, trying to figure out what might have happened.

My mom saw me n understood that something must be worrying me.. something important. She sensed it. You know mom's are like this, they have a special antennae, which keeps working all the time, sensing and keeping situations under her control. Well, I had started acquiring these properties now, that I was going to be a new mom.

My jute cotton, green n blue striped suit was not helping me much in keeping my calm. It was feeling sticky as I had started worrying more. As soon as mom understood the situation, she came n sat by me. I drank some milk, hoping you might move.. my family surrounded me and started talking loudly to awaken you from your deep slumber, but you did not budge. Every second was becoming difficult for us and we finally took a decision to go to the hospital.

Once we ran into the gynaecology ward, machines were put around where you might be and thankfully, we could feel the heart beat, going strong, but you were still not moving ! The nurse pushed you side to side, still you would not budge.. Finally the doctor ran in and asked me what all did I eat and there we had a moment of illumination ! How would today's child react to a snack of milk and biscuits ? They will run away and avoid eating it... It's coke which you wanted ! The first sip and there, you gave the biggest kick out of sheer joy of having coke !

What a beautiful moment that was ! I love coke .. no wonder why !

And today after twelve years when you asked me if you could drink some coke, you reminded me of that moment, when you did not need to be told about what is coke and the kick it gives !!!

You were safe and sound that day and I wish you will remain so forever .

Dear Daughter, I love you ,

TRG

@Copyright - All these views are mine and cannot be copied by anyone.